READ ARTICLES ABOUT IMAGO
Definition of Imago
Imago is a Latin word that simply means "image". In imago therapy this word refers to an unconscious image in our minds of the ideal mate. This mind image was forged out of the many experiences we had with our caretakers. Caretakers could be parents, relatives, siblings, teachers or even peers. These are the people to whom we turned to get our basic needs met while growing up.
The imago is an amalgam, a picture in our brains, of all the important characteristics of our caretakers. Both positive and especially negative characteristics make up this image of the person who is supposed to meet our basic needs. That "image", or Imago, becomes a template or homing device when we are in the process of selecting a mate.
This means we will likely pick a mate who is in some ways like our caretakers. We are unknowingly attempting to recreate the childhood environment wherein we were supposed to get our basic needs met. The good news is that the mate we pick, because we experience them as being like our caretakers, literally can help us heal and grow, when they give us what we need. The bad news is that they can also repeat the wounding from our caretakers, again because they are like them, so that we end up living in the same painful existence that characterized our childhood.
The actual outcome depends on whether we bring consciousness and safety to our relationship. It depends on how we choose to communicate and interact. If we understand that we are in a process with each other that was designed by "mother nature" to force us to finish growing up, and we cooperate with "her" plan, we have a better chance of evolving into the adults we were meant to be.
Workshop Magic
There are many wonderful workshops available for those of us who want to improve the way we relate to each other and the way we live our lives.
Dhont and Associates, as many of you already know, offers two such workshops: Getting the Love You Want for couples and Seizing Your Moment! for women in midlife transitions. Many people ask, "Why would I want to attend a workshop with a bunch of other people when I can get more attention and privacy from individual counseling sessions?" A good question! One of several possible answers is another question: "Why not both?"
Individual and couples therapy was long seen as a process in which the therapist or counselor "does something to" the person or persons in the thera-pist's office. This "something" was supposed to "cure" them of whatever was "wrong," as if the therapist was supposed to have a "magic wand" and a "special technique" to accomplish this feat.
Most professionals now know that although a technique can help make a difference in the outcome of therapy, the magic is really in the relationship between the therapist and the client(s). Most important is the therapist’s ability to understand, be present with, and relate to real issues and needs and feelings. It is the relationship that heals!
Recent research is making it clear that clients who have had some education in relationship skills are much more capable of taking advantage of individualized therapy. The Getting the Love You Want workshop for couples educates participants as to what is going on in relationships and demonstrates skills in loving interaction.